i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Rumble strips road head = magical
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
