he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
