it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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