Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
