she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
