every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
