Can i not drive my cunt home
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
