Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
