Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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