billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
