too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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