my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize
