Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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