She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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