This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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