When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
