Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
