apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
