Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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