We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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