So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
