Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
