I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
