Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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