Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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