I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
