gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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