last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
