just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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