Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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