Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
