Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
