i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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