the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
