im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
