i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I wish i was in the wii world.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
