We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
