I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
