just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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