I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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