Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
