cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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