I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
