You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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