u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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