i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
