I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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