1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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