the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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