Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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