Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
