Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
