there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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