Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
there is puke in my bra ... again
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
