I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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